Archive for July, 2016

Sunday 24th July 2016

Posted in Life the Universe and Other Things on July 24, 2016 by bishshat

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Saturday 23rd July 2016

Posted in Life the Universe and Other Things on July 23, 2016 by bishshat

The One I Love

REM

This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the one I’ve left behind
A simple prop to occupy my time
This one goes out to the one I love
Fire
Fire
This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the one I’ve left behind
A simple prop to occupy my time
This one goes out to the one I love
Fire (she’s comin’ down on her own, now)
Fire (she’s comin’ down on her own, now)
This one goes out to the one I love
This one goes out to the one I’ve left behind
Another prop has occupied my time
This one goes out to the one I love
Fire (she’s comin’ down on her own, now)
Fire (she’s comin’ down on her own, now)
Fire (she’s comin’ down on her own, now)
Fire (she’s comin’ down on her own, now)

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Friday 22nd July 2016

Posted in Life the Universe and Other Things on July 22, 2016 by bishshat

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So Deep Within You

The Moody Blues

Talk to me baby, I want to sleep at night.
My heart is heavy, it’s weighed down by the night.
And now I’m lonely, I want to see the light
So deep within you.

Cool wind is blowing through your crazy hair.
Warm colours flowing, this feeling we have shared.
And now I’m lonely I want to feel the love
So deep within you.

Your love’s a never ending dream,
A castle by a stream of sweet understanding.
I know you’re thinking of me too, the messages
From you are my inspiration.

Love’s incense lingers, it never fades away.
Like you I’m waiting for our special day.
And now I’m lonely I want to feel the love
So deep within you

My love is burning, like a forest fire.
My heart is yearning, I feel a warm desire.
And now I’m lonely I want to tough the fire
So deep within you.

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Thursday 21st July 2016

Posted in Life the Universe and Other Things on July 21, 2016 by bishshat

Old and Wise

Alan Parsons Project

As far as my eyes can see
There are shadows approaching me
And to those I left behind
I wanted you to know
You’ve always shared my deepest thoughts
You follow where I go

And oh when I’m old and wise
Bitter words mean little to me
Autumn winds will blow right through me
And someday in the mist of time
When they asked me if I knew you
I’d smile and say you were a friend of mine
And the sadness would be lifted from my eyes
Oh when I’m old and wise

As far as my eyes can see
There are shadows surrounding me
And to those I leave behind
I want you all to know
You’ve always shared my darkest hours
I’ll miss you when I go
And oh, when I’m old and wise
Heavy words that tossed and blew me
Like autumn winds will blow right through me
And someday in the mist of time
When they ask you if you knew me
Remember that you were a friend of mine
As the final curtain falls before my eyes
Oh when I’m old and wise

As far as my eyes can see

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A Corbynista 

I have been struggling these past few weeks with my core socialist beliefs.
Today a fellow volunteer said she hoped I would vote for Owen Smith in the Labour election. I said I could not and my principles lay firmly with Corbyn.
She said I was not seeing sense and that we would never see a Labour government while Corbyn was the leader. I have been looking at this ever since he was voted leader.

Last week while in North London, I was discussing with other Corbyn out like minded Labour voters and I have been thinking more and more if maybe I should change my mind.
I have decided I cannot do it. Corbyn as far as I am concerned speaks my ideals and my values. I do agree that these values and ideas are out dated but then again so am I.
I have no intention of betraying my values in order to vote out a Tory government only to be replaced by a Labour government that will have in my mind the same crushing policies as the said Tory’s.

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It’s a sad day and I have to now admit it that in my mind the old days and ways are gone.
Nobody wants the old socialist values anymore.
Nobody wants Peace and Love, not really.
Nobody wants equal rights especially if  they feel their rights are above the rights of the less fortunate.
Nobody wants to deliver our country from being run by the people with loads of money.
Nobody wants to rid the country of the wealthy greedy land owners and property magnets.
Nobody wants a revaluation of the royal family.
They are all to busy waving flags and supping Champagne with their caviar and trotting off to get pissed at the horse races.
Nobody wants a country without Nuclear armaments if it means looking weak in the eyes of Russia and that is an old out dated idea for me.
I feel it more likely that a single rogue person could bring in a dirty bomb in a back pack and set it off in a London station rather than be fired at from a Russian submarine.
Even if North Korea rattled its old sabres at us would we fire nuclear warheads at it?

It has all changed my opinion is that the Labour party is surplus to requirements.
Old Labour and its values are a thing of the past.
If Owen Smith gets in as Labour leader it matters not. Labour is doomed in my mind.
Socialism is a relic of my imagination a dream that died with the hippies.
It was crushed under the horses of the police when the mine workers were destroyed by Mrs Thatcher’s government.
I am a relic.
I will not vote for something I don’t hold to be honest.
I am not a radical.
I am not a reactionary.
I am a socialist.

Wednesday 20th July 2016

Posted in Life the Universe and Other Things on July 20, 2016 by bishshat

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June 2nd scan and today’s scan at 20 weeks.

oooohhh

Thumbs Up I’m a boy!

George Eliot or #.com?

I guess it’s just a natural cycle of things?
Even so it creates a flutter in my heart
Goodness knows what flutters it creates in yours?
I hope your shoulders do not shrug it all away
All to quickly the future comes.
One minute the child
Next minute the man
In the next moments a father, a grandfather
All competing in a race to stay the course
I cannot remain in the game
I see the future in a grainy image
It frightens me yet fills me with a pride
A pride that leaves me only showing it
In a mirror that is private and hidden
O child I know not what you are
Or what you will be
But this is going to happen I see that now
The next steps are already taken
They are small and delicate yet deliberate
If I could take your hand
And walk at your side
I would attempt to guide you
And try to keep you safe
The only way I know how
These words alone will meet your flying feet
Fleet of foot will carry the days into years
And when the last days appear they will fly
Faster than the rising sun and waning moon
The light dims and you too will see
That the cycle goes on and on
And you will dream dreams for us all

John Bish June 2nd 2016.

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Pinball Wizard

The Who

Ever since I was a young boy,
I’ve played the silver ball.
From Soho down to Brighton
I must have played them all.
But I ain’t seen nothing like him
In any amusement hall…

That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!

He stands like a statue,
Becomes part of the machine.
Feeling all the bumpers
Always playing clean.
He plays by intuition,
The digit counters fall.

That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball!

He’s a pinball wizard
There has to be a twist.
A pinball wizard’s got such a supple wrist.

‘How do you think he does it?
I don’t know!
What makes him so good?’

Ain’t got no distractions
Can’t hear no buzzers and bells,
Don’t see no lights a-flashin’
Plays by sense of smell.
Always gets a replay,
Never seen him fall.

That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball.

I thought I was The Bally table king
But I just handed my pinball crown to him.

Even on my favorite table
He can beat my best.
His disciples lead him in
And he just does the rest.
He’s got crazy flipper fingers
Never seen him fall…

That deaf, dumb and blind kid
Sure plays a mean pinball.

Pinball Wizard

Behind Blue Eyes

The Who

No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

No one knows what it’s like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies

But my dreams
They aren’t as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That’s never free

No one knows what it’s like
To feel these feelings
Like I do
And I blame you

No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

But my dreams
They aren’t as empty
As my conscience seems to be

I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That’s never free

When my fist clenches, crack it open
Before I use it and lose my cool
When I smile, tell me some bad news
Before I laugh and act like a fool

If I swallow anything evil
Put your finger down my throat
If I shiver, please give me a blanket
Keep me warm, let me wear your coat

No one knows what it’s like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes

Won’t Get Fooled Again

The Who

We’ll be fighting in the streets
With our children at our feet
And the morals that they worship will be gone
And the men who spurred us on
Sit in judgement of all wrong
They decide and the shotgun sings the song

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again

The change, it had to come
We knew it all along
We were liberated from the fold, that’s all
And the world looks just the same
And history ain’t changed
‘Cause the banners, they are flown in the next war

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
No, no!

I’ll move myself and my family aside
If we happen to be left half alive
I’ll get all my papers and smile at the sky
Though I know that the hypnotized never lie
Do ya?

There’s nothing in the streets
Looks any different to me
And the slogans are replaced, by-the-bye
And the parting on the left
Are now parting on the right
And the beards have all grown longer overnight

I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
Take a bow for the new revolution
Smile and grin at the change all around
Pick up my guitar and play
Just like yesterday
Then I’ll get on my knees and pray
We don’t get fooled again
Don’t get fooled again
No, no!

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Meet the new boss
Same as the old boss

Britain Politics

We watched the 1967 film about Rossetti and Siddel by Ken Russell.

Although old and crazy and very Ken Russell I felt it was a great production giving a life to the chaotic beings that made and mixed art and poetry in this amazing period of opium filled romantic lifestyle. You can draw parallels with any period of genius art,music,poetry or film creators. Hendrix, Lennon, Ono, Van Gogh,Morrison, Elvis, Jackson all of these people lived in a swirling world where their thoughts had time and imagination to create and destroy.

I have for a long time had a lets say Infatuation with the image of Jane Morris.
Ever since I was interested in art and the art in the Birmingham Museum and Art gallery where there are many Pre-Raphaelite paintings.
Her image caught my eye. But she was not in my mind a beauty. Then I found for real photographs of her I found she was strange and alluring. I was smitten for she was not pretty or naturally beautiful but I found her very sensual.
Was it the hair and the neck? They way she held herself in the poses?
I don’t know.
The whole story of the brotherhood and their models is a chaotic mess much like the as like the sixties rock stars and their girl friends and muses they appear to be bonded in age.
Poor Lizzie Siddel, and Rossetti and William Morris. What a mess? Their poetry, more than their, art shows such a pain of being alive. It’s almost as they cannot cope with it and want to pass away. Their poetry loves life but begs for release.

Dante’s Inferno

The Private Life of Dante Gabriel Rossetti, Poet and Painter (1967) is a feature-length 35mm film directed by Ken Russell and first screened on the BBC on 22 December 1967 as part of Omnibus. It quickly became a staple in cinemas in retrospectives of Russell’s work. It tells of the relationship between the 19th-century artist and poet Dante Gabriel Rossetti and his model, Elizabeth Siddal.

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The exhumation of Lizzie Siddal’s desiccated body is seen, followed by a shot of Rossetti dancing among the flames of a bonfire of paintings by Reynolds and Gainsborough. A voice-over informs us that Rossetti is a founder of a revolutionary group of artists called the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood. The figure of the young Lizzie dressed as Joan of Arc appears above the flames.

Lizzie is seen modelling for Millais’ Ophelia and for a painting of Joan by Rossetti. The voice-over states that she eats little and often throws it up. She and Rossetti spend several years together while he paints and draws her, but she spurns his sexual advances, even slashing him with a needle when he presses himself on her. Rossetti turns to the more accommodating Fanny Cornforth.

Lizzie is introduced to laudanum by Emma Brown to alleviate her stomach pain. She is advised by Christina Rossetti that Dante Gabriel needs a patron. Christina’s voice-over speaks her poem In an Artist’s Studio, about Lizzie. She tells Lizzie she looks ill. Rossetti and Christina visit William Holman Hunt, who is painting The Light of the World. Hunt asks Rossetti to look after his girlfriend Annie Miller while he is away in the Holy Land painting The Scapegoat, but Rossetti has an affair with her and Hunt spurns her on his return. John Ruskin visits Rossetti’s studio and shows an interest in Lizzie’s art.

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Rossetti meets Edward Burne-Jones and William Morris in Oxford and encounters the beautiful Jane Burden. They paint the Oxford Union murals. Jane marries Morris and Rossetti marries Lizzie. Lizzie becomes increasingly hysterical due to her laudanum use and Rossetti’s philandering. She dies from an overdose. Rossetti buries his unpublished poems with her.

Some years later, Charles Augustus Howell persuades him to dig the poems up, but Rossetti is haunted by the image of the dead Lizzie and becomes addicted to chloral. Fanny Cornforth rescues him from a suicide attempt, but Rossetti is now increasingly obsessed with Morris’ wife Jane. He sleeps with her when Morris is away in Iceland, but she remains distant. Isolated, with only the loyal Fanny to care for him, Rossetti sinks further into addiction.

Dante’s Inferno’s visual style is taken mostly from the Pre-Raphaelite paintings themselves, many of which, such as Millais’ Ophelia are filmed in the actual locations where the paintings were created. Russell also uses imagery inspired by silent comedy and expressionist horror films.

Dante’s Inferno has been described as “bit of a mess” despite moments of “inspired lunacy”. Russell’s biographer Joseph Lanza takes the view that its moody black-and-white photography makes the locations in the English Lake District seem like Dracula’s Transylvania. Joseph A. Gomez argues that its chaotic appearance hides a sophisticated structure,

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Without Her

Dante Gabriel Rossetti

What of her glass without her? The blank grey
There where the pool is blind of the moon’s face.
Her dress without her? The tossed empty space
Of cloud-rack whence the moon has passed away.
Her paths without her? Day’s appointed sway
Usurped by desolate night. Her pillowed place
Without her? Tears, ah me! for love’s good grace,
And cold forgetfulness of night or day.

What of the heart without her? Nay, poor heart,
Of thee what word remains ere speech be still?
A wayfarer by barren ways and chill,
Steep ways and weary, without her thou art,
Where the long cloud, the long wood’s counterpart,
Sheds doubled darkness up the labouring hill.

 

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Tuesday 19th July 2016

Posted in Life the Universe and Other Things on July 19, 2016 by bishshat

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“All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.”

 Julian of Norwich

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Monday 17th July 2016

Posted in Life the Universe and Other Things on July 18, 2016 by bishshat

St Ann’s Hospital

located opposite Chestnuts Park, on the border of West Green & Harringay in Haringey, north London.

The Metropolitan Asylums Board purchased the site where St Ann’s Hospital now stands in October 1892. It was known as The North Eastern Fever Hospital and was used to treat patients suffering from fever and diphtheria. Building work on the Administration Block began in 1898 and construction of the laundry began the following year. The original Works Department was built in 1907 and the “old” boiler house in 1912. Also built around the turn of the century were Block 6, Acacia House (as a residence for the Hospital Engineer), Mulberry House (the Steward’s home) and Orchard House for the superintendent.

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Walking In Memphis

Marc Cohn

Put on my blue suede shoes and
I boarded the plane
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain

W.C. Handy
Won’t you look down over me
Yeah, I got a first class ticket
But I’m as blue as a boy can be

Then I’m walking in Memphis
I was walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale
Walking in Memphis
But do I really feel the way I feel?

I saw the ghost of Elvis on Union Avenue
Followed him up to the gates of Graceland
Then I watched him walk right through

Now, security did not see him
They just hovered round his tomb
But there’s a pretty little thing
Waiting for the King
And she’s down in the jungle room

When I was walking in Memphis
I was walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale
Walking in Memphis
But do I really feel the way I feel?

Now, they’ve got catfish on the table
They’ve got gospel in the air
And Reverend Green, be glad to see you
When you haven’t got a prayer
But boy you got a prayer in Memphis

Now, Muriel plays piano
Every Friday at the Hollywood
And they brought me down to see her
And they asked me if I would
Do a little number
And I sang with all my might
She said, “Tell me are you a Christian, child?”
And I said, “Ma’am, I am tonight!”

Walking in Memphis
I was walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale
Walking in Memphis
But do I really feel the way I feel?

Walking in Memphis
I was walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale
Walking in Memphis
But do I really feel the way I feel?

Put on my blue suede shoes and I
Boarded the plane
Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain

Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues
In the middle of the pouring rain

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In April 2013 a crowd of patients and health care professionals congregated at the base of the Victorian Water Tower near the psychiatric ward of St Ann’s hospital, Haringey, to honour the achievement of Tamara Capellero; a local artist whose notable career in sculpture spans some thirty years.

Tamara’s Arts and Mental Health forum, held in recognition of her ground-breaking Arts Council backed project, facilitating the on-going recovery of severely ill mental health patients through creative workshops, was hailed as an unmitigated success by attendees Juliet Lyon, head of the Prison Reform Trust and Maria Kane, Chief Executive of Barnet, Enfield and Haringey NHS Trust.

Her success in leading the project is all the more remarkable because Tamara herself has been a Mental Health service user for the past thirteen years.

More remarkable still, perhaps, is the way in which, a year on from the forum, the project has been allowed to slide into ruin by the same health authority whose most vulnerable patients have benefitted so much from it, along with the magnificent building in which it was housed.

From the day of her release from detention under section, thirteen years ago, Tamara became a woman on a mission: “I was teaching at Central St Martin’s School of Art when I got sectioned. It was a typical Psych’ ward in Tottenham, the ugliest thing I’ve ever seen. No way of leaving. No-one to invite you to a writing or drawing class. I felt like I’d landed in hell. That experience led to my work in prisons.”

In 2001 Tamara applied for funding from the Arts Council and began teaching classes at Pentonville prison with suicidal and self-harming inmates. This was the genus of what eventually became the ‘Walking the Wire Well’ project.

In 2009 Tamara received £11,000 from the Arts Council to work with patients at St Ann’s making a site specific sculpture. None of the grant awarded was income for Tamara herself; instead it went to buying high quality art materials and paying skilled professionals to lead workshops in music, circus, poetry, knitting, gardening and tree work, as well as funding social events for patients offering healthy food and live music.

“We did drawings of Sam […Hague – a graduate of the Hoxton Circus School] as he performed on a slack-rope rigged between two trees. Then we needed to find a building that was good for me to make the sculpture and lead more workshops.”

Tamara saw the potential of the dilapidated Water Tower near the quiet eastern boundary of the hospital site: built in 1889, four storeys high, surrounded by grass and crowned with a massive water tank; it was an ideal alternative to the coldly clinical interior of the Psychiatric wards. Following a risk evaluation by Health and Safety, Tamara set about restoring the building and buying high quality art materials, often dipping into her own personal finances when she couldn’t stretch the budget to accommodate their requirements.

She completed the sculpture in 2011 and, with an allocation from the hospital of £120 per month in place of the Arts Council funding which expired with the installation of the work, managed to continue leading the workshops until October 2013, largely due to the voluntary efforts of front-line staff and what is left of the occupational health team following drastic cuts made by the local NHS Trust board, the majority of which is composed of specialists in finance with no clinical background.

The Occupational Health Department, required to lead safely all off-ward activities ranging from arts projects to gymnastics, gardening and cookery, has been systematically dismantled over recent years. What was an eight strong team in a specially designated part of the hospital has been reduced to a mere two, dealing with an average of sixty patients. The Department no longer exists.

Tamara is in no doubt as to the negative effect these cuts have had on her borough:

“Government is trying to make cuts throughout the NHS but when you’re talking about mental health it’s creating a situation that is causing people to jump off my local bridge.”

The bridge over Archway Road is notorious among locals, having earned the dubious nickname ‘Suicide Bridge’.

“These may be people…” she continues, “…who have recently been discharged from St Ann’s or people who are on leave and technically still inpatients. Staff are under great pressure to discharge patients into the community as rapidly as possible to cut costs. Vulnerable people just can’t get the help they so badly need.”

In January of this year, the Care Quality Commissioner conducted a major inspection of the inpatient wards at St Ann’s, resulting in an enforcement order. The findings highlighted three main areas of concern:

1) Not enough beds resulting in the use of seclusion rooms, giving highly vulnerable patients insufficient access to staff.

2) Some patients did not know that they were no longer under section and were free to leave.

3) Patients complained that there were not enough activities and many that were scheduled did not take place.

In October 2013 the final blow came to the ‘Walking the Wire Well’ project, when Tamara arrived at the Water Tower to find the new water tanks on the top floor had burst, destroying hundreds of artworks entrusted to her by patients, and rendering the building too unsafe for continued use.

Despite her sending numerous emails to relevant departments, including an appeal to the Trust Board, no effort has been made to relocate the project or compensate the patients for the inevitable distress this has caused, not least to Tamara Capellero herself, who might have expected more from an institution to which she has given so much of her time and energy, in spite of her own crippling illness.

With the site upon which the Water Tower stands earmarked for sale in an effort to make up the deficit in Barnet, Enfield and Haringey’s depleted budget, prospects are bleak. The Water Tower, once a hive of activity and a pillar of strength for some of our society’s most vulnerable people to draw upon, will stand empty until it falls.

Archway Road, on the other hand, could be about to get a whole lot busier.

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The Metropolitan Asylum Board was liquidated in 1929 and the hospital came under the administration of London County Council in 1930. Soon after, the structure of the NHS in England and Wales was established by the National Health Service Act 1946 and St Ann’s fell under the control of the North East Metropolitan Regional Hospital Board and Tottenham Hospital Management Committee. The hospital was renamed St Ann’s General Hospital in 1949 or 1950.

From 1982 it has been the responsibility of Haringey Health Authority.

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One of Us

Abba

They passed me by, all of those great romances
You were, I felt, robbing me of my rightful chances
My picture clear, everything seemed so easy
And so I dealt you the blow
One of us had to go
Now it’s different, I want you to know

One of us is crying
One of us is lying
In her lonely bed
Staring at the ceiling
Wishing she was somewhere else instead
One of us is lonely
One of us is only
Waiting for a call
Sorry for herself, feeling stupid feeling small
Wishing she had never left at all

I saw myself as a concealed attraction
I felt you kept me away from the heat and the action
Just like a child, stubborn and misconceiving
That’s how I started the show
One of us had to go
Now I’ve changed and I want you to know
One of us is crying
One of us is lying
In her lonely bed
Staring at the ceiling
Wishing she was somewhere else instead
One of us is lonely
One of us is only
Waiting for a call
Sorry for herself, feeling stupid feeling small
Wishing she had never left at all
Never left at all

Staring at the ceiling
Wishing she was somewhere else instead
One of us is lonely
One of us is only
Waiting for a call

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