Archive for May 1, 2020

Friday 1st May 2020

Posted in Life the Universe and Other Things on May 1, 2020 by bishshat

Ambition

Ambition for me
Was only that my toys remained in my cupboard
But now
No matter how slowly or gently
I crack open the door to peek
They are gone
It’s as if the gaps between my dreams now blurred
Have allowed them to slip away
Now no amount of recall can hold them fast
Its such a pity that ambitions set so shallow
Should end only in sad circumstance
And so very much alone
Bish 1st May 2020

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First of May

Bee Gees

When I was small, and Christmas trees were tall
We used to love while others used to play
Don’t ask me why, but time has passed us by
Some one else moved in from far away
Now we are tall, and Christmas trees are small
And you don’t ask the time of day
But you and I, our love will never die
But guess we’ll cry come first of May
The apple tree that grew for you and me
I watched the apples falling one by one
And I recall the moment of them all
The day I kissed your cheek and you were mine
Now we are tall, and Christmas trees are small
And you don’t ask the time of day
But you and I, our love will never die
But guess we’ll cry come first of May
When I was small, and Christmas trees were tall
Do do do do do do do do do
Don’t ask me why, but time has passed us by
Some one else moved in from far away

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Lockdown

Lockdown for this poet is no big deal
Or so he thinks
Most of the time the words he thinks
Don’t even make it to the note book
He doesn’t like the mask idea
Not even one he could design for himself
Bespoke
He doesn’t really like his being controlled
He hates listening to false dictators
Those that hide behind a graph
Those that say they follow science
Those that say they do the right thing at the right time
Those that hold his family cheap
Those that make promises they cannot keep
Then tell him they have made good on the promise
The situation is this
The situation is that
We have not punched our way through an alpine tunnel
If it’s a stupid simile you want here is a better one I found on line
We have been sent up Everest in our shorts and t-shirts
O no the poet has broken his lockdown
I think the task you had was hard
But you stupidly made it harder
You go and take your paternity leave you deserve it
Like Nero you fiddled about in your pants while we burned

John Bish 1st May 2020

(Tom Peck Political Sketch Writer)

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I really think someone is pulling the wool over my eyes.

Having set a target of 100,000 tests per day by the end of April, the government now says it reached 122,347 tests on Wednesday (the last day of the month).

The government had been averaging around 20,000 tests a day but this increased significantly over the last week.

When home testing kits became a significant part of the testing strategy last week, the Department of Health began counting those sent out as part of its daily test figures.

So, it doesn’t mean the test was actually used by someone on that day – or even received.

Previously, only instances in which the swab had been processed through a lab were counted as a test.

But the new definition – added on 27 April – included tests “posted to an individual at home”.

On 29 April, the definition was extended yet further to also encompass “tests sent to… satellite testing locations”.

According to figures released on 30 April, home testing kits accounted for over 18,000 of the daily tests, or a quarter of the total.

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Nick Triggle Health correspondent says
 
The headline figures certainly look impressive – 122,000 tests in a day. Just a week ago around 25,000 were being recorded and a month ago it stood at 10,000.
 
It is testament to the hard work that has been done behind the scenes by a partnership of government, scientists and the private sector – with a helping hand from the military.
 
But has the government been a little creative with its counting? It has included home-testing kits sent out to individuals as well as the satellite kits – these are batches of tests sent out to care homes and other settings where there are lots of people who need testing.
 
Some, no doubt, will never be returned.
 
A week ago these made little difference to the figures – only a few thousand a day were being sent out. But now they account for around a third of the tests.