Archive for May 8, 2020

Friday May 8th 2020

Posted in Life the Universe and Other Things on May 8, 2020 by bishshat

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I Am

I am yet what I am, none cares or knows
My friends forsake me like a memory lost
I am the self-consumer of my woes
They rise and vanish in oblivion’s host,
Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and live like vapours tost
Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my lifes esteems;
Even the dearest, that I love the best
Are strange nay, rather stranger than the rest.
I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator, God;
And sleep as I in childhood, sweetly slept,
Untroubling, and untroubled where I lie,
The grass below above the vaulted sky.

John Clare 1848

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Yesterday I crashed into the real world
I came facemask to facemask with reality
There was a long queue at Waitrose
Yes I admit I had been safe in my bubble
Safe inside my shed
Apart from the noise from the neighbours
Still banging in my head
I was hiding safe in lock down mode
Doing as I had been told
Now I was out on the front line I was being rather bold
I had gone out for gin and creamer for coffee
I had put myself in danger
Things were desperate you see
For I had no proper PPE and had to stem a cough
The line at Waitrose turned their heads
So I floored the pedal and sped off
I pushed up the windows on the car
I stared straight ahead
Went once around the car park
And headed home to my shed
Come 8pm I was locked down
I’d got gin from the local store
It was twice the price of Waitrose
But fuck it were at war
I didn’t want to clap with the neighbours
The ones that I so dread
So I bunkered down with my blanket and took my G n T to bed.

John Bish VE 75 8th May 2020

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